Rise Broadband - Reliably *** Connection
Ever wanted to get your mobile data limited, lose all connection to the internet, and get *** out of money at the same time? Now you can with Rise Broadbang, we'll force you to pay 45$ a month for spotty dial-up speeds.
Think you can run to another company? Not anymore, because we bought them too! Here at Rise Broadbang we accept trades. Sacrifice your first born and we might consider upgrading your speeds from 56k to 57k.
Now I know what you're saying, Scunt, how do you make profit with all this customer *** and more at such low rates? Using patented Custo-*** technology our technicians data-capped your connection so that when you decide to watch your monthly youtube video we'll charge you a low low rate of 100 dollars per megabyte!
Now you're saying "But, Scunt what if the duct-tape holding my antennae to the 60ft tumor in my yard falls off once wind speeds reach 5mph?" Well we have a team of specialists who you can have come to your house and beat you until you pass out. Because you'll never have to worry about the internet while you're in the hospital.
Location: 61 Inverness Dr E #250, Englewood, CO 80112, USA
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